Have you ever noticed the way you talk to yourself or your self-talk you use? What you think of yourself after you accomplish something or make a mistake? If you haven’t, I highly suggest that you start really paying attention to your thoughts and what you say to yourself.
I guarantee you will be surprised.
Most of what you say probably isn’t what you should be telling yourself. And that is crazy because your self-talk has a huge impact on you!
In Learn to Build Confidence and Conquer Your Goals, I explained how positive self-talk can be used to build your confidence. But that is only part of self-talk, so I thought it was important to expand upon it more because it will make that big of a difference in your life.
Self-talk is just what it sounds like. It is the practice (and by “practice” I mean it just happens) of talking to yourself, either out loud or in your head.
That means whatever you tell yourself. Whether it be, “I got this,” or “I’m such an idiot” or anything in between.
A lot of the time we don’t even realize we are doing it, it’s in our subconscious. It can be something that you were constantly told while growing up, “You can’t do that”, something society tells us like cookies are unhealthy so “I’m fat” if I eat this, or even just your own experiences, “My boyfriends (or girlfriends) have all treated me like crap so I suck at picking them.”
Benefits of Self-Talk
There are many benefits to using positive self-talk. And yes, I mean talking to yourself in the right way can improve many areas of your life. A few of these benefits include:
- Boost Confidence
- Help Fight Depression
- Allows You to Compliment Yourself
- Helps You Be More Productive
- Increase Performance Levels
- Reduce Stress
- Helps Your Relationships
Importance of Self-Talk
You might think that it doesn’t matter what you say to yourself, but in reality, it makes all the difference.
We just covered the benefits you can get from using positive self-talk, so you already know some of its importance. But it goes a lot deeper than just what you can get out of it.
What you tell yourself gets ingrained in you and becomes who you are. Take a second and think about what you say to yourself most often.
Do you use the phrases, “I’m such an idiot,” “I’m fat,” “I just can’t lose weight,” “I don’t have time” or anything along those lines? They might seem harmless, but you have to realize, if you are telling yourself these negative things frequently, that is the person you become.
When I first started focusing on what I was saying I realized I would always say, “Dumb dumb” after I made a silly mistake. I thought it was harmless and funny, but when I started to change it to, “I’ll get it next time” and, “No worries”, I noticed I stopped making as many mistakes, didn’t feel as bad, and was able to fix it faster when I did.
It is a self-fulfilling prophecy where you make those things become true.
No one wants to become any of those things. We just want to live our best life and enjoy it. And you deserve that.
We have so many other people giving us negative feedback, so it is vital that you change your way of thinking to give yourself the positive self-talk you need!
There are hundreds of books out there on self-talk that can help you understand why it is you talk to yourself the way you do. Some even guide you on how to make sure you are talking to yourself in a positive way. Rewiring your brain.
I haven’t read every book on the subject but there are two books that I highly recommend reading if you want to make some real changes.
What To Say When You Talk to Yourself
I thought this book was very helpful. It really explains why we think the way we do and how it all starts when you are a child.
It breaks it down, so it is easy to understand exactly what phrases you grew up with that have become hardwired and what you tell yourself now that you are hard-wiring without really knowing it.
When you aren’t aware of these things, reading a book like this really opens your eyes. And it shows you the destructive things you say.
What I also love about this book is the fact that the author, Shad Helmstetter, has audio recordings you can get to help you rewire your brain, because to fix years of negative self-talk there needs to be a lot of repetition. He offers a free trial, or you can purchase them.
The awesome part about these recordings is, you just have to listen to them. You can even just have them on in the background while you’re going through your day. It’s as simple as that. No work needed.
There are different recordings for different subjects such as self-esteem, finances, and weight loss, among others.
I use the recordings and I can tell you they have really helped me. I mostly use the self-esteem recordings and I have noticed I feel a lot more confident from them.
My use of positive self-talk has also gone way up as well. And I am easily able to realize when I am saying something negative and flip it to a positive.
You Are a Badass
This is the second book I would highly recommend. My sister actually recommended this to me and got me the pocketbook version (with a badass button that tells me “You are a badass” and “You can do it”).
The author, Jen Sincero, writes in a very blunt easy to understand way. You would think a book on this topic would be boring, but not the way she writes.
It is really an easy read for anyone looking to improve their life.
The key points she tries to get across are to love yourself and always remember you are a badass!
And who doesn’t feel great when they are feeling like a badass? I know I love feeling that way.
You have been talking to yourself since you were a child and others have been telling you things since that time as well. It causes you to have many bad habits when it comes to how you talk to yourself.
But you can rewire your brain. And it doesn’t have to be an impossible task.
You first need to realize what negative self-talk you use and work on becoming aware of it when you use it. Once you realize you used negative self-talk, you can stop for a moment and turn it into a positive.
So, “I suck at this,” becomes “I can do this”!
What To Say When You Talk To Yourself and You Are A Badass are great reads that can help you to better understand self-talk and get you thinking in the right direction.